Dark Part of Me
I’m wasted, lost in a darkness swallowing me whole
I can’t see the faces,
taunting me, pulling, teasing, crying.
I want so much to be someone else.
Lost in a darkness I can’t crawl out of.
I’ve become nothing.
A shell, floating in a sea of carcasses.
I’m dead and I know it,
or else the world wouldn’t be shaded in black.
My heart is broken, shattering.
Becoming the glass pieces that I step on.
It shouldn’t be so fragile.
So soft. So frail.
I should have been so much stronger.
They lied. Love does not prevail.
Everything I knew, or… everything I thought I knew.
It’s lost.
Gone, blowing in the wind like ashes.
Like death.
The red in my chest threatens to take me.
Captivate me. Enamour me, beseech me.
Leave me on a beach and beat me.
I want you back. I’m in hell.
They lied. Love does not prevail.
Back when the lights were off and everything was black,
I left everything I had to walk down this path.
Who lit that candle, to show me who I was?
Now they’ve left me broken,
flying with the dust.
Take me away from this present.
Tear me from my future.
I want the past. I want to go back.
Back when the lights were off
and everything was black.
Where were we when nobody cared?
Hope was distant, but tangible still.
Love was different, the happiness was real.
You were mine, or so I thought.
It was emotional grid work,
a rewiring of my system.
Telling me, I’m right where I need to be.
I still felt inadequate, lost in where I fail.
They lied. Love does not prevail.
I’m wasted, lost in a darkness swallowing me whole
I can’t see the faces,
taunting me, pulling, teasing, crying.
I want so much to be someone else.
Lost in a darkness I can’t crawl out of.
I’ve become nothing.
A shell, floating in a sea of carcasses.
I’m dead and I know it,
or else the world wouldn’t be shaded in black.
My heart is broken, shattering.
Becoming the glass pieces that I step on.
It shouldn’t be so fragile.
So soft. So frail.
I should have been so much stronger.
They lied. Love does not prevail.
Everything I knew, or… everything I thought I knew.
It’s lost.
Gone, blowing in the wind like ashes.
Like death.
The red in my chest threatens to take me.
Captivate me. Enamour me, beseech me.
Leave me on a beach and beat me.
I want you back. I’m in hell.
They lied. Love does not prevail.
Back when the lights were off and everything was black,
I left everything I had to walk down this path.
Who lit that candle, to show me who I was?
Now they’ve left me broken,
flying with the dust.
Take me away from this present.
Tear me from my future.
I want the past. I want to go back.
Back when the lights were off
and everything was black.
Where were we when nobody cared?
Hope was distant, but tangible still.
Love was different, the happiness was real.
You were mine, or so I thought.
It was emotional grid work,
a rewiring of my system.
Telling me, I’m right where I need to be.
I still felt inadequate, lost in where I fail.
They lied. Love does not prevail.
They tell me
I’m doomed to be lonely.
I fought, but I can feel that now.
It’s hard to hold onto, I keep falling down.
But I can’t leave it be, lest it continue to fester.
This darkness in me, keeps making my chest hurt.
I try to hold it in, try to let it pound it out.
But my hand and heart aren’t strong enough
to contain the shout.
They told me, I was tough enough
to lead where others pale.
They lied. Love does not prevail.
The pain I feel is a hole bleeding paper hearts.
My brain keeps telling me it’s wrong.
When you’re dead, you can’t feel.
So where does this come from.
Where does this emotion stem.
I thought it was over,
but we’ve continued the hymn.
We sing the same sad song,
over and over and over again.
I’m doomed to be lonely.
I fought, but I can feel that now.
It’s hard to hold onto, I keep falling down.
But I can’t leave it be, lest it continue to fester.
This darkness in me, keeps making my chest hurt.
I try to hold it in, try to let it pound it out.
But my hand and heart aren’t strong enough
to contain the shout.
They told me, I was tough enough
to lead where others pale.
They lied. Love does not prevail.
The pain I feel is a hole bleeding paper hearts.
My brain keeps telling me it’s wrong.
When you’re dead, you can’t feel.
So where does this come from.
Where does this emotion stem.
I thought it was over,
but we’ve continued the hymn.
We sing the same sad song,
over and over and over again.
I want to fight it so badly,
God I want to fight it so hard.
But it’s not my battle, it’s not my heart.
I’m consumed by this darkness,
by jealousy and love.
I tried so hard to be that person,
the one I thought you needed.
Who I thought you wanted.
I tried too hard to be every rope and sail.
I was wrong. Love does not prevail.
God I want to fight it so hard.
But it’s not my battle, it’s not my heart.
I’m consumed by this darkness,
by jealousy and love.
I tried so hard to be that person,
the one I thought you needed.
Who I thought you wanted.
I tried too hard to be every rope and sail.
I was wrong. Love does not prevail.
My heart wishes we never were.
So it would never have to break.
It wants so badly to unthread every mistake.
But for that I know I’m wrong.
I have to learn to accept it.
Who I am and who I was,
and who I might become without you.
And even though I don’t want it,
they tell me I’m holding the right rail.
They lied. Love does not prevail.
The darkness in me is too strong.
Death won’t come.
I’m just another wandering soul
you shaped around you.
Mercy made me whole.
Mercy made me turn the switch.
She brought the light I never wanted,
and turned it on my heart.
I knew I should have fought it.
My weakness made me cave
My love for you dug my grave.
All this change…it fucks with me.
I can feel my world shifting,
like it’s crumbling beneath my feet.
I’m hurting in a way I never thought I could.
But this isn’t about me,
It’s about all the shoulds:
Death won’t come.
I’m just another wandering soul
you shaped around you.
Mercy made me whole.
Mercy made me turn the switch.
She brought the light I never wanted,
and turned it on my heart.
I knew I should have fought it.
My weakness made me cave
My love for you dug my grave.
All this change…it fucks with me.
I can feel my world shifting,
like it’s crumbling beneath my feet.
I’m hurting in a way I never thought I could.
But this isn’t about me,
It’s about all the shoulds:
I should have told you that I loved you,
back when we kissed in 5th grade.
I should have told you you’re my only,
the real first time I got laid.
I should have let you in on my secrets,
when you told me all of yours.
I shouldn’t have become everything
you hate in this world.
back when we kissed in 5th grade.
I should have told you you’re my only,
the real first time I got laid.
I should have let you in on my secrets,
when you told me all of yours.
I shouldn’t have become everything
you hate in this world.
I should be more open,
with who I am and who I was.
I should have understood
why everything was us.
I should catch on a little quicker,
and tell you how I feel.
They told me I could do it,
that I was afraid to wail.
They lied. Love does not prevail.
The dark part of me took everything I wanted.
Everything I held dear.
It knew when I would crumble,
to recede into the black.
It whispered in my ear,
just begging to take me back.
I knew I should have listened,
should have never believed the tale.
Everyone lied. Love does not prevail.
with who I am and who I was.
I should have understood
why everything was us.
I should catch on a little quicker,
and tell you how I feel.
They told me I could do it,
that I was afraid to wail.
They lied. Love does not prevail.
The dark part of me took everything I wanted.
Everything I held dear.
It knew when I would crumble,
to recede into the black.
It whispered in my ear,
just begging to take me back.
I knew I should have listened,
should have never believed the tale.
Everyone lied. Love does not prevail.
Reality
P.S. Please do comment, out loud or in my ear. I don't care which. I welcome your thoughts and opinions. Bu do not, copy and re-post this anywhere (for you random readers, I know you're out there -_-).
